The only polar bear in town.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

How you can tell you're getting old

Having recently turned 30 I've been surprised by how little the experience has affected me. I certainly don't feel any older, I don't feel wiser, I don't drive any slower and I still despise jazz with a passion. But there's one thing I've noticed that I'm not too happy about and that's the state of my bladder.

During my 20s I used to wake in the morning and casually stroll to the bathroom and start the day naturally. However, since turning 30 I'm more often than not rudely awoken by my bladder - usually at stupid o'clock - desperate for a pee. And we're not talking about a feeling that you can just ignore, I mean I'm absolutely busting. It's not good.

And it's not just me either. I've spoke to friends of a similar age and they are exactly the same. They too are punished by their bladders for having the audacity to drink more than three glasses of water a day.

I'm also told that as you head into your late 30s you start waking in the middle of the night to spend a penny. That sounds awful.

If all goes to plan I should be pissing the bed by the time I hit my 40s. At least that's something to look forward to.