Overheard in New York

Every now and again I come across a blog which makes me laugh so hard that a little bit of wee comes out. This one is called Overheard in New York and is a collection of bits of conversations that people have overheard.

My own personal favourite is the guy who overheard a couple talking about jolly people, and contains the line: "Jolly means fat with a beard." That's genius.

Uncle John tribute

To mark the one year anniversary of John Peel's death, a two disc compilation album is being released with some of the proceeds going to charities.

As with his shows of old, the album features a wide range of stuff, some of which you'll love and some of which you'll no doubt hate. And it is exactly because of that eclectic taste that made him such a great broadcaster and pretty much impossible to replace on the airwaves.

You don't win friends by eating salad

That's the first rule of being a Polar bear!

I'll remember your face

It's not easy being a traffic warden, you know. You should hear some of the abuse I get every day when drivers get back to their cars to find that I've just slapped them with a ticket. I don't enjoy being a traffic warden, I fuckin hate it. I only do it because the ladies seem to love the uniform.

Sometimes if the drivers are really apologetic and polite I take pity on them and let them off with the ticket, but if they are complete pricks I really have to bite my lip and hold back from riping their heads off their shoulders with my huge claws.

I've read the Traffic Warden's Code of Conduct from cover to cover and at no point does it say that I can kill a driver for giving me shit, nor can I beat the living crap out of them with my clipboard. Which is a crying shame.

So, next time any of you give me any stick and I just stare at you, be aware that I'm making a mental note of your face and thinking: "If you and me were in the wild now, as god is my witness, I would eat you."

You'll keep, fuckers!

On a lighter note, this site takes the piss out of the Glazier takeover of Manchester Utd, which is always funny in my book.